Letter to a dying friend

Scouring through old FB conversations with old friends, I stumbled upon this message I had for a dying friend. The date's Feb. 6, 2012. This friend was dying of a rare cancer. The sorry excuse of an asswipe that I am, I discovered that I was probably drunk in Cavite the time I sent the message. Here goes:

[insert name here]

Still remember me? Anyway, I've heard of what happened to you through [name]. And as far as I could remember, he had a plan to collect letters from all your Bosconian friends, classmates, and teachers. I promised to give one but, unfortunately, I failed to do so because of a lot of things that happened. You know, things are strange here in Cavite.
Well, to fulfill that promise and, actually, to more of, express my concern for you, I decided to just send you a message here.
Okay, so what's my concern? I don't know, actually. I just want you to know that I was shocked when I learned what happened to you, thinking that you were the nicest guy in our class. 
But yeah, shit happens. It's like life's a goddamn road without an exact destination, and we just walk and walk until we find ourselves stepping on shit the size of our face, and as deep as our thoughts. And we go on walking thinking that life stinks. 
Pero ayos lang yan. Tang ina. Sorry pero 'yan lang ang words of wisdom ko for you (at kapag may ganyang shit na nangyayari sakin, feeling ko yan rin lang matatanggap ko.) 
Wala e, okay lang yan at ''tang ina'' is the word that suits your life best right now. I mean, when shit happens, we can just be a shit and be happy with it. I know you're strong, physically, mentally, and spiritually. I feel it from you ever since. So,  wala, mag-wala na lang tayo sa kasiyahan ng mundo. Anyway, bakasyon lang naman ang buhay. Tapos nito, laboy uli sa kung saan. 
Nakakatuwa ng kasi 'di ba sa Busko nagdadasal tayo ng prayer for a happy death. Tang ina gago kapag naaalala ko yun parang ang creepy. Come to think of it, children praying for their death to be happy? C'me on! 
Pero I see the point. All of us are going to die and shit. Death is as inevitable as hunger. Wala, it's the only sure thing. Masyado lang tayong ginogoyo ng tidbits of comfort ng mundo. Feeling natin lasting yun. 
Pero sabi nga ni Buddha (Sidharta) pare, life is a suffering. Wala tayong ligtas dun. We can't fool ourselves that life is a ever-expanding beach resort full of strip-teasing bitches. Life is closer to hell than it is to heaven. 
Puta kung anu-ano nang sinasabi ko. Pero Delfin tang ina nag-english ako 'no? Haha. Tang ina lasing pa yata ako. Magfootball ka lang lagi kahit bembol roco na hairstyle mo. Hehe. I'll be sending some of my stuff (poetry) sa email mo (ano ba email ad mo?) para maaliw ka naman diyan minsan. Haha. 
Sige pre, natatae na ko. Godbless! Until we meet again!

 P.S. I got a full beard too, man. Hehe. Mas pogi na 'ko sa 'yo.

Kabobohan ang PPP

Ginagago na lang gobyerno ang publiko sa patuloy na pakikisawsaw ng pribadong sektor sa mga pampublikong serbisyo sa pamamagitan ng PPP (Public-Private Partnership). Okay, “partnership” nga naman. Ibig sabihin, dapat may benepisyo ang bawat isa sa pakikipag-“partner” na ito para patas.

Sa iskemang PPP, kikita ang mga mapapalad na negosyanteng (hindi natin alam na baka kamag-anak, dummy, o baka mga opisyal mismo) mapipili para sa isang proyekto ng gobyerno. Ibig sabihin, sa isang proyekto, may bahaging gagastusan ng isang kompanya at may bahaging gagastusan ng gobyerno.

Ang mga bagay na ginagastos ng pribadong sektor, babawiin sa  publiko. Pero ang subsidiya ng gobyerno, hindi masisingil sa tao dahil nga trabaho naman talaga ng gobyernong pagsilbihan ang bayan na siyang nagtatag sa kanya.

Sa paraang ito, makakatipid na raw ang gobyerno, makakakuha pa ng de-kalidad na serbisyo ang publiko.

Pero tang ina naman di ba, unang-una, bakit kailangan tipirin ang pampublikong serbisyo? Ganoon na ba kasaid ang budget? Kung hindi ako nagkakamali, trilyon-trilyon ang inaaprubahang pambansang budget taon-taon.

Isa pa, sa dami ng tao sa Pilipinas, sa laki ng bilang ng mga manggagawang nagtitiis sa bulok na pampublikong transportasyon, nanganganib sa di masugpo-sugpong krimen, at nagtitiyaga sa sa supot na kita pero nagbabayad ng sandamukal na buwis, ano pa ang kulang sa pera?

Hindi ko alam kung “primitibo” na maituturing—dahil baka banatan, bansagang hindi akma sa “trends” sa ibang mga bansa, tulad ng sabi ni Congressman Castelo—ang sistemang buwis-gobyerno-serbisyo para sa taumbayan.

“Less is more” ika nga, dahil habang lalong nagiging sopistikado ang sistema ng pagbibigay serbisyo sa bayan, lalong dumadami ang mga paraan ng mga taong sangkot sa pagba-budget at paggastos sa pondo ng bayan para makapagnakaw.

Sa katwiran na mas gaganda ang serbisyo kapag nakisawsaw na ang pribadong sektor—tulad ng katwiran ni DOTC Sec. Jun Abaya sa kaso ng MRT—anak ng fuck naman, putsa, responsibilidad ng gobyernong magbigay ng de-kalidad na serbisyo sa bayan dahil bayan ang nagtatag sa kanya.

Dapat lang maipaalala sa tao na may karapatan silang pakyuhin pabalik—ika nga ni Angelo Suarez—ang gobyernong dambuhalang pakyu dahil ang gobyerno ay ginawa para pagsilbihan ang taumbayan at hindi ang mga negosyante.

Ngayon, paano tayo lalong ginagago sa PPP?

Isiping maigi: Si PNoy, ang nakaupong Pangulo ng Republika ng Pilipinas—para patas, kahit ang mga nakalipas na pangulo rin naman—bukod sa pagiging presidente, tiyak ay negosyante. Hindi man, lintek naman ang mga kamag-anak ni Aquino, di ba?

Si Binay, ang kasalukuyang Bise-Presidente ng Republika ng Pilipinas, isama mo na ang kanyang anak na senador, congresswoman, mayor, at ang misis na dati ring mayor, may “lehitimong negosyo” sa isang farm sa Batangas.

Sa mga mambabatas sa Senado at Kamara, sa mga gobernador, mayor, konsehal, sige idamay na natin ang mga barangay chairman, tulad ng barangay chairman sa amin sa Cainta na may sariling tindahan at commercial space na pinauupahan, ilan sa kanila ang may lehitimong negosyo? Ilan sa kanila ang maraming lehitimong negosyo?

At sa taumbayang dapat pinagsisilbihan nito, sa masa, ang sektor ng mga manggagawa na tunay na nagpapagalaw sa ekonimiya ng bansa—ang tunay na “boss” at di ang mga negosyante—ilan lang sa kanila ang may lehitimong negosyo?

Well, puwede nilang i-quote si Manny Villar at sabihing “sipag at tiyaga” lang para magkalehitimong negosyo ang isang manggagawa. Ito rin ang haka ko ay sasabihin ng mga nasa upper middle class na masaya na sa kinikita nila at wala nang paki sa iba.

Pero leche naman, sino ba ang mas masipag pa sa isang contractual na sa manggagawa sa isang water treatment facility na rumaraket ding construction worker, welder, etc., at nagtitiyaga sa suweldong alikabok lang sa kinikita ng mga pinagsisilbihan niyang may gana pang magalit?

Kung sipag at tiyaga lang ang gagawing batayan, mayaman na dapat ang karamihan ng mga Pinoy, kahit anong bisyo pa meron ito (sige, ilang opisyal ang makikita mo sa mga casino).

E bakit nga ba hindi sapat ang sipag at tiyaga para umasenso sa kapitalistang Pilipinas? Simple, kailangan ng naghaharing uri ng pinaghahariang uri. Hindi puwedeng yumaman ang lahat. Kaya naglalagay sila ng linya, sa pamamagitan ng mga opisyal ng gobyerno na nagiging kinatawan ng malalaking negosyante para gumawa ng mga polisiyang tulad ng PPP na sila rin ang makikinabang, na nagsasabing: “hanggang dito ka lang puwedeng yumaman.”

Kaya tulad ng sinasabi, ang mayayaman, lalong yumayaman at ang mahihirap, bagaman at may umaasenso, yumayaman minsa, ay patuloy na alipin ng naghaharing uring binubuo ng mga negosyante’t korporasyon at mga politikong utak-negosyo.

Nakakalungkot—hindi—nakakainis at nakakapanindig-middle finger ang kabobohang ito. 

On the Laude case

There has been an increasing public demand for death in this predominantly Christian country of failed post-Martial Law expectations.

As crime statistics continue to rise, calls for death penalty and vigilantism a la-Duterte have been getting louder and louder.

There has also been a longing for another Marcos dictatorship—an era of bloody death—thanks to the revisionists, teachers of a nation with short-term memory.

Just recently, the first stones were easily cast on the dead body of Jennifer Laude, transgender and sinner killed by an American soldier staying in the Philippines under the Visiting Forces Agreement.

Victim blaming has been rampant online and offline, as if the death of Laude is God's wrath upon his wretched red-lit life in Olongapo; as if he deserved it, blood by blood, scream by scream; as if the act of killing has been justified.

It's as if death is justice.                                                                                                                                                                    
The involvement of a U.S. marine in the killing of Laude renewed calls for the junking of the Visiting Forces Agreement once again.

***

I was attending a wedding a few days ago and the bride's brother, a pastor, drew an interesting parallelism from two Bible miracles:

The first one, which symbolizes judgment and death, was when God, through Moses, turned water (Nile River) to blood in a plague that shook Egypt.  The second one, which symbolizes life, was when Jesus turned water into wine during the wedding at Cana.

So it is clear that what Jesus has been teaching all along is life and love, not death and wrath, as He came down to this wretched earth and healed lepers, let blind men see, deaf people hear, and even brought the dead back to life. Truly, the world rejoiced in His wonders.

So where has this light been in this predominantly Christian country? Where has this lesson been amid all these post-Martial Law mess made worse by oligarchs? Why the thirst for death?

Sure, Jennifer Laude was a wreck, a fiancé-cheating transgender and a bastard of bastards. But his murder wasn't justice. Sin does not eradicate sin. Heck, he could have changed his ways had he lived.

***

The synod of bishops has just ended. As expected, there are no conclusions yet. It was promising that the Catholic Church has softened its stance on homosexuals and single parents, though the church clarified and almost retracted this stance after.

In a commentary published by the Philippine Daily Inquirer, a Filipino bishop who attended the synod pointed out a few things about what the bishops had discussed. Pope Francis said that the church must resist the temptation of turning stones into bread and the temptation to turn bread into stones to cast it upon sinners.

This means that for next discussions, the Catholic Church has to come up with a stance that does not necessarily condone sin but does not also condemn sinners. It could be a ''hate the sin, not the sinner'' thing, which could be both traditional and revolutionary at the same time.

Not bad at all as these sinners do not need all the church's arms to embrace them, just a door opened to welcome them and probably teach them the right path, just a chance at life.

                                                                 ***


Leftists say that the agreement is giving America the power to step over the Philippines' sovereignty, therefore more access to whatever the global superpower wants from this country.

I must say that I completely agree that the Philippines must be free from American claws once and for all. I must say that the VFA is a deal, among other PH-U.S. deals, that only magnifies the fact that this country is a neo-colonial, neo-liberal U.S. puppet.

I must say that Pemberton, the marine, for being the typical American asshole in Philippine soil, should rot in this country's rotten jails—not because he deserves it, but because that's how the rotten Philippine justice works for quite a long while.

On giving chances to sinners: While Laude has done a sort of 'moral crime,' Pemberton has done a crime both 'moral and civil.' Laude should have been given the chance do penance for his sin, but Pemberton,while given the chance to redeem his soul (if he is a theist), is still subject to the country's judicial system.

And though, that the death of Jennifer Laude does not really point out the flaws of the VFA, I must say that the issue should be abused in such a way that progressive topics such as neo-colonialism and ass-stinking trapo capitalism should be discussed in national media.

If government officials are abusing national issues to advertise themselves, why can't we abuse these to talk about the real deal too?

As for the junking of the VFA, I must say that we must first junk first the country's oligarchs and businessmen masked as public servants in the highest positions of the government, which is unlikely.

Aside: I have a dream that someday, someone from the labor sector, someone who comes from the working class level of the society will be elected. Of course, this will not automatically translate into change of the system, but hey, it could be a good start.